distress.

I’ve realised I didnt blogged about my recent outings. On friday, I met Bffs to catch the Fireworks fest. We waited for almost 2hrs but it was all worth it in the end. The fireworks is so pretty, and the scenery of the Singapore Flyer together with the Hippo boats with pretty lights seriously made it more memorable. Envy them for their long holidays!

On saturday night, I went over to Dad’s house. Had delicious durians and this fruit which I had no idea what the name is. And we went Singapore Flyer the next day, doesn’t matter if its raining. The experience is awesome, and it is not even scary at all. In fact you can’t even feel it moving! Then we had Pizza! Okay, here comes the whole drama scene – when they were sending me home, _____________________________

 

Strength.

I need to focus on my studies. Promos in 30 days time. Can’t procastinate any further.

 

I know it’s not right but its not fair.
The best thing about today is PE. We played netball and I took WD again! Awesome much. Okay, I have got to study for 3 different MSAs over the weekend and a few assignments to complete. How nice of the teachers.

Your imperfections made me crazy, and I love it.

 

Back to plan A.

My life seemed screwed up somehow. I am beginning to over react, every muscle in me act on their own, out of their instincts. My mind was blank. Is there something really bothering me, subconsciously at least. I know I am troubled, something has been bothering me. But I could never find the right ways to say it. I need a confidant, but whom could I really trust? It is too personal, so much so that it is killing me slowly. And school is making it even faster, with new information loaded into my head everyday.

 People is judgemental, thats why. What I ,will or will not, tell them will change things. How I wish my life were one of that a fiction book, I will memorise it probably. Trying to make things right whenever things are about to go wrong. Time for me to start FOCUSING in my studies, I want atleast 2 As and I know it’s not easy, especially when I was a pure failure for Common Test. But somewhat in me is telling me that everything will be over soon,as though it will be a smooth one. It is reassuring me that I will make THEM proud of me. And I hope I’m right.

my mind is muddy but my heart is heavy.

A perfect description of my feelings.

 

Patience.

Patience is the key to many things. Tolerate it, it’s not that bad.

STUDY.

 

narcissm;

I studied, ABIT atleast. I went to CP @ 12 and studied 2 chapters of Maths and did Econs tutorial. A sense of accomplishment. Jamie reached at 3++ and we had lunch before going to ‘study’ again. Reached home at 5++

I need to study badly. I want a five-week holiday too. I want all A’s for Promos. I want to get more than 45 for rank points and show it in LSK’s face that I did it, that bitch. I want to buy that 2 dresses i really really liked from Far East too, both baby doll dresses and both sums up to about $80. I want to read Eclipse. God, please grant all my wishes for these few weeks, atleast grant me good luck until Promos is over. I love you.

 

Awesome much.

Met up with Dad’s side today, like yeah, all my cousins whom i haven’t talked to since like a century. They are well, grown up. I wore red/white kebaya shirt with black pants, patriotic much. And I spent my time reading the endings of New Moon. It is so sweet. I guess I will wait for Eclipse after my promos. Had steamboat at my aunt’s house, as in my mum’s side. And I saw the bright fireworks from there!!!! It is gorgeous. AND COLLEEN HUANG aka Adidas Spokesperson, I AM SO SORRY for your injury that was directly caused by me and indirectly caused by ______ So sorry so sorry so sorry, I will never mention the name again when we are cycling, okay?

Already, everything is linked back to you.

 

Temper.

I have got to learn to control my temper, but that doesn’t mean I will have to tolerate undesirable attitude. For example, if someone just “Shut up!” me when I was merely looking at him. fuck.The worse thing is that person is your friend. And I can’t stand girls who enjoys grabbing the attention from the guys, like acting cute and twirling hair and getting near them even when they ignore you. Yah, I can’t stand this kind of shit. I mean, what the shit, stooped so low and turns out your method doesn’t work.

Happy National Day Singapore, Shine for Singapore. Had school celebrations, nothing much except for the sing along. Class got funny and we held each other’s back and jogged around the hall, actually about half of the hall, formed our own circle and sang songs. Damn funny. Went to meet SY at Far East before getting to East Coast Park to meet Isaac,Syafiq,Clare,Sam,Junrong,Pris,Dayna,Annette to cycle. AND I am one of those who stayed behind(while the rest cycled to Changi.SHIT, I want.) to teach Annette to cycle. Met COLLEEN(: afterwards, Subway-ed and cycled again with COLLEEN!!!! Damn funny, she _____ when I mentioned ______’s name a few times. So sorry dear, love you. Supply you with lots plasters. Clare,Dayna,Shafiq were still at Subway when we returned! Then, we left them to go home our own! AND something happen again. I made Colleen waited so long for her bus): Double sorry with Edward on top. I love my class baby!

I felt something which I can’t put into words at that moment. I know you felt my uneasiness. I know you realised my glances now and then. I know it’s empty. That’s why I chose to ignore you. It seems so hard at times. And it’s harder now.

 

Infuriated.

SWEET LOVE.

I am so angry today I shan’t elaborate on it. Lucky, a this small girl brighten up my dad by smiling and waving at me. Children are loves. I knew there will be something happening today, I just knew it. First, i got agitated that I swear I could have become the world’s top10 most evil person. But then, I got relieved when I saw that small girl. She’s an angel. Then at KFC, while having dinner with Gayle,Fiona,Isaac,Clare, I saw 2 icandies. And my lovely friends were being so obvious, how sweet. Taking photos when one of them sat like 8cm away frm me.

I am reading NEW MOON now. So happy(:

 

I know but I cant help it.

I am so angry I can eat a pig.

 

Okay, im kidding.